


Dying again and again

by KathyDann



Series: Amasai stuff uvu [6]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Angst(?), But I promise it's still happy, Comfort, Death because I write out how they die in the game, Fluff, Happy Ending, How do I tag this one, M/M, Nightmares, and blood, hurt/comfort(?)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:34:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23226391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KathyDann/pseuds/KathyDann
Summary: The Killing Game was not only ridiculous and relatively dangerous, it also psychologically harmed many of them -- Shuichi in particular.
Relationships: Amami Rantaro/Saihara Shuichi
Series: Amasai stuff uvu [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1671097
Comments: 9
Kudos: 38





	Dying again and again

**Author's Note:**

> Hi yes idk what I wrote but except for that I wanted to write how Shuichi felt about each death whether he saw it or not. It's a mess and I apologize. Also it's 3:37 in the morning when I'm posting so whoop-
> 
> Also have no desire to proofread and fix my mistakes-
> 
> But yeah I thought it'd be interesting. Some fluff at the end with Rantaro and Shuichi.
> 
> Anyways enjoy~

Shuichi looked around and found himself in the courtroom, surrounded by the other participants that he cared about, loved, worried for all so dearly. Maki, Himiko, Tenko and Angie, Miu, Kiibo, Kaito and Kokichi, Gonta and Korekiyo, Rantaro, Kaede, Tsumugi, Ryoma and Kirumi. They were all alive, they were breathing, talking, debating. Nobody is dead like he had expected but he couldn't complain, he was just glad he wasn't seeing a dead body in front of him or the amount of blood that truly disgusted him and made him feel sick. But oh how that was too good to be true for the scenes started changing and shifted to Kaede looking at him with a smile before ropes were suddenly wrapped around her and dragged her up into the sky as tears started running down his face, screaming to her while watching in horror as Monokuma executed Kaede as she was hung and forced to play the piano, suffocating to death. The detective could feel himself wanting to throw up as he felt sick to his stomach, watching the large piano covering that was littered with spikes suddenly snap shot and effectively destroying the pianist's body. A pathetic whimper left his lips as he tried to stop the tears. Busying to do so, the scene took it's chance to suddenly switch to a different one so by the time Shuichi looked up, it had begun.

Paint. Angie. Oh no. Shuichi seized as he saw the four wax figures of Ryoma, Rantaro, Kaede, and Kirumi all seemingly staring at him while he saw Angie crumpled on the floor as the pink pool of blood began to gather around her. It disturbed him to see this scene again, especially with the four wax figures staring at him, watching his every move as the detective neared closer to the artist. _Atua failed to protect her._ Shuichi had bitterly thought while the tears fell freely as he knelt down to inspect the body, seeing how she died and where the source of the blood was coming from. The detective already knew the answer to how she died, where the blood came from, and who exactly murdered her for the most disturbing of reasons by Korekiyo but yet a part of him didn't seem to remember that. As he slowly reached out, Angie's blue grey eyes flew open and met his golden grey ones. Shuichi normally would have freaked out but instead he had a minor heart attack while staring right back at her. A large smile suddenly crossed her face as she chuckled.

"I suppose this is what Atua wanted, huh? He must have been really angry with me!" Shuichi only smiled before shaking his head, swallowing his sobs that tried so hard to escape. Angie's eyes were so empty, void of life and genuine happiness was taken away from her, just like her life was. An unnecessary and disgusting murder.

"N-no, Angie. I don't think this is what Atua would have wanted." The detective's voice was just barely above a whisper, his hands shaking. "I... like to believe that you did Atua proud. You should still be alive with everyone else." Shuichi choked on a sob and he covered his mouth to muffle his cries. "Your death was unreasonable. I'm sorry." He apologized, forcing a pained laugh as Angie laughed with him before her and the scene faded. Shuichi sat on the ground and held his head as a new scene started to take place.  
  
This next scene had Gonta chained up to a wooden post while in this relatively odd western like town. Oh goodness gracious it was the bugs. Lord this scene always weirded him out more than anything as he watched Monokuma shoot hundreds upon hundreds of mechanical wasps at the Entomologist and disfiguring his face as it swelled up in multiple places. Shuichi could only hug his knees, exhausted and still very much crying, as he saw the most massive insect (Was it a wasp? He couldn't tell) zip towards him and suddenly raise it's sharp mechanical claw and stab into the middle of Gonta's chest, the pink blood suddenly exploding from him and splattering everywhere and everything except the detective. "And in the end, it was what he loved the most that ended his life." He whispered as he stood up, staggering briefly for his legs went numb when he had sat down for so long. The scene was quickly replaced by another and this time it was Kiibo's and Tsumugi's deaths.

Their deaths were always surprising him in some ways as the detective watched the ultimate robot dance around the sky, shooting his bright blue laser beams to destroy the academy. So much fire, rocks collapsing around him, craters being created by such lasers. As Kiibo flew around the skies, Shuichi turned his attention towards the entrance of the school seeing Tsumugi waving with Monokuma, her last goodbyes before a massive boulder suddenly dropped from the sky and landed right on top of them. He shuddered at the thought of dying that way and just knowing it was happening. Swallowing, he hugged his arms as he watched Kiibo smile almost in reassurance to Shuichi before pressing the middle button placed on his upper torso, glowing a bright blue before zipping towards the barrier that covered the academy. He sacrificed himself and became a bomb so that the assassin, the magician, and the detective could escape and win the game. Shuichi's chin quivered and the tears started all up again because Kiibo should have been with them when they won too but if he hadn't done it, more deaths would have happened. The detective sighed weakly as he mumbled, something about bringing the next death or body he had to see. 

The scenes shifted slowly to see Kaito's. Aside from Kiibo, his wasn't by execution or murder, but by his own illness that he hid from everyone. Kaito was pushed into a rocket and could be seen through the circular window that was provided. The astronaut in training was calm and collective while his arms were crossed, leaning back in the chair before coughing harshly. Shuichi found himself reaching out to him, wanting to take him out of the rocket so he could die peacefully by his own illness and not have this god forsaken rocket be a part of it. He shouldn't have been even part of the game if he was so ill but here the two were, Shuichi watching as the rocket suddenly turned itself upside down and began drilling into the earth as the other continued coughing heavily before disappearing into the earth. Everything was quiet for a while, giving him the time to think and wonder why Kaito even joined the Killing Game if he was dying in the first place. He quickly then shook his head as he remembered that it was just a game. A terrible, terrible game that shouldn't even exist or continue running whatsoever. The real life Kaito wasn't ill and that the only reason it was part of the game was because the astronaut in training simply had a cough by the time he entered. The ground began to rumble and Shuichi tried his best to keep himself balanced before suddenly the rocket came back and opened, Kaito's body sliding out of it and covered in his own small pool of blood but it wouldn't be too long before his eyes opened and he looked at the detective.

"You got this, Shuichi. I know you can do it!" Kaito cheered for him with that iconic smile of his. Shuichi smiled sadly before bowing his head, silently thanking him for his encouragement.

"Reach for the stars, Kaito." The detective had whispered as the body slowly disappeared and he found himself Kirumi surrounded by silhouettes of people holding signs that read _"Notice to Quit!!"_ in several different languages as they shouted at her before suddenly a thin rope of a vine covered in thorns dropped in front of her. Determined to escape, she grabbed the vine and began climbing, the thorns repeatedly stabbing her hands while the blood dripped from them. As she continued to ascend, numerous and massive saw blades came from the walls before whirling to life. They were close to the vine to not cut it, but make repeated deep cuts in the maid's body. She was almost deterred from it but decided to continue on despite the fast spinning blades cutting her body up to pieces, making a mark in her body and destroying her clothes while at it. Either because of the pain or her desire for freedom, she saw light and believed she reached for it while not noticing the vine slowly breaking and ripping. When she was able to snap out of her delusion she saw a child's drawing of the sky with a red sun, mocking her for thinking that was freedom. As a result, the vine snapped and she came crashing down onto the ground, her bones shattering and lying in her own pool of neon pink blood that leaked from the cuts that decorated her body. Shuichi shuddered with the amount of blood and the amount of suffering Kirumi had put herself through before dying a terrible, terrible death. 

The scene was quick to change and he saw Korekiyo tied up. The detective had to admit, he wasn't quite sure how to feel about his death since it was extremely disturbing to watch. He knew that the anthropologist was weird but dear Lord his execution was just beyond weird. It was sad, sure, but still relatively weird as Shuichi watched him being spun for what may have seemed like an eternity for Korekiyo and suffering from the vertigo that came with it once the spinning was all over. Shuichi saw the cartoonish style of a samurai suddenly withdrawing his swords and swinging the blades widely. There was nothing at first until a trapdoor opened up underneath the anthropologist and suddenly dropped into the abyss only to then land into a melting pot. Momokubs started throwing little wooden logs into the burning fire pit underneath the cauldron, intensifying the heat until Monodam suddenly ran into the pit and very quickly intensified the heat enough so that Korekiyo melted into it. Now when the detective first witnessed this execution he believed that it was the end of it but when he saw the anthropologist's spirit slowly escape the pot, he was quite surprised. Korekiyo floated and was met with another spirit that took the form of his sister and they reached out to one another to embrace, but Monokuma quickly came in and began throwing salt at Korekiyo's spirit, being hurt and eventually melting by the salt. He was mortified when his own sister joined in the salt throwing and effectively killing and destroying his spirit. Shuichi, while still saddened by the death, wasn't quite sure how to feel about it. Shuichi hummed as the scene faded. How many deaths and executions was that now? Eight? Still five more to go. To say the detective was extremely tired was an absolute understatement. Did he even have anymore tears to cry or was he dried out?

The room was dark when Shuichi decided to pay attention. He was looking directly at Miu who was holding nothing at her neck but was obvious that she was choking to her death. Oh how disturbed he was when he saw Miu trying her best to stop whatever was trying to choke her but to no avail of saving herself. And to think he did nothing, absolutely _nothing_ except watch her die in front of him. No blood. No nothing. Just completely dead, lifeless in the chair she had been sitting in with her eyes seemingly staring into the sky. The guilt in his heart grew because despite knowing he couldn't do anything, he felt like he should have still done something. It was the quickest death out of them all, but it left a major impact.

Now it was Ryoma's turn, judging by the red curtains that draped across his vision. It was suppose to Himiko's magnificent underwater escape trick but simply turned out into a murder scene. The detective watches the curtains being separated from another to reveal a tank full of piranhas, along with the tennis player floating while his hands are cuffed. What was different this time was the fact that Ryoma was awake, alive, and not panicking by the fact that he was drowning and would be eaten by the flesh eating fish. The tennis player glanced at Shuichi and just smiled a little before closing his eyes. Shuichi, without thinking, quickly ran over to the tank and pounded on the glass even though it was not even the slightest bit of helpful as the fish started to circle him and eat his flesh from head to toe, leaving nothing but bones and scraps of clothing behind while staining the water pink with his blood. The tennis player's death hit him hard because Ryoma was starting to become more... hopeful in a sense and began to believe that just maybe they would all be able to escape. The detective could feel the tears falling down his face once more as he wished that the tennis player would have survived, that way he could be happy again. He wanted that for Ryoma and Ryoma didn't get it.  
  
This time the scene faded into darkness. No light. No sounds except for a _thunk_ but nothing happened despite that. Shuichi tighten his hand into a fist as he marched into a random direction, ignoring his fear of the dark before quickly stopping, noting that something or someone was in front of him. The darkness lasted only for a few more minutes before candles were suddenly lit and gave light into the creepy ritual room where Tenko's body lied under the iron cage as she was in a fetal position, blood covering the floor under her. As he began lifting the cage up slowly, he remembered Himiko screaming out her name in disbelief and shoving the iron cage off of the Aikido Master's body. The magician was in absolute disbelief as she could only stare at the body. She lost Tenko and Angie, who truly meant the world to her and encouraged her to become a better person in their own unique but thoughtful ways. Shuichi knelt down next to the body and mumbled softly,

"Degenerate males... you weren't too far off, Tenko." He smiled sadly before rubbing his head as he watched her body fade away. Two more... The two he was closest too and he knew they would hurt the most. Swallowing and bracing himself, he stood up and watched a hydraulic press appear in front of him with Kokichi laying on top of it while Kaito's jacket was wrapped around him. The embodiment of a lie and hated the game, wanting to end the killing, the murders, everything because it mentally hurt him too. 

The supreme leader looked over at Shuichi just as the hydraulic pressed slowly lowered itself and smiled with those stars in his eyes, waving excitedly before looking back at the hydraulic press once more. The tears began and they wouldn't stop as he flinched while Kokichi was squished between the metals and the blood instantly spilling out from between and flooding to the floor. So much blood, so much, _too much._ Shuichi thought as his body began to violently shake from the sobs that started escape him. Damn it why did he have to die? Why did any of them have to die?! It wasn't fucking fair!  
  
Everything was dark once more but this time there was a spotlight over a body that he immediately recognized. Rantaro Amami, curled up slightly with blood bleeding from his head. Shuichi immediately walked over and knelt down, reaching over to touch the soft green hair. The one given the ultimate survivor title was the first one to die. It was so wrong, so unfair because the detective knew that if Rantaro had survived he would have easily been able to end that horrific game quickly. He began mumbling almost incoherently through his tears,  
  
"Rantaro, wake up please. You're not allowed to be dead." He whispered and began to shake the lifeless body gently, "Please. I don't want you to be dead. I want you to be alive. That promise... remember that promise? That once we got out of here, we could go find your sisters, _together_? How is that suppose to happen now that you are dead? I can only imagine your sisters waiting for you to find them, wanting to come home in their brother's arms so..." he sobbed and whimpered, "so why aren't you awake and reassuring me that everything will be okay and that we will go find them? That we would escape together?" He finally broke down and leaned down, resting his head on Rantaro's body, sobbing until he suddenly opens his eyes and sees green eyes staring into his stained golden grey ones, calling out to him and shaking him.  
  
"Shuichi!" Rantaro said softly. Shuichi breathed heavily as he noticed he was holding his wrists tightly, as if fearing that if he let go that the adventurer would disappeared. "I'm here, Shuichi, I'm here. I'm not going away." He said softly to him as he knelt down and kissed his forehead. Close friends but they acted like they were in a relationship in times like these which were starting to become more and more often. "Can you hear me, Saihara?" He asked softly. Shuichi could only nod as he let go of Rantaro's wrists and wrapped it around him, desperately in need of a hug to calm him down from the nightmares and memories that had haunted him. It was just a dream... dreams that he could never get use to, dreams that he just couldn't get over no matter how many times he tried to remind himself that all of it was just a game and none of them died, that they were all still alive. "Talk to me." The adventurer whispered to him as he managed to maneuver himself to lie down next to the detective, who then turned to lay on his side so the two could face each other. Shuichi for the mean time decided to say nothing while Rantaro looked at the tear stained cheeks and the red eyes as tears were falling still. Reaching over, he brushed a thumb over to wipe them away. "Whenever you are ready," he paused, "Or... I could guess." He suggested softly, guessing that perhaps the detective didn't want another mental breakdown like he was having in his sleep. "Killing Game." A nod. "Afraid?" Shuichi shook his head as he grabbed Rantaro's hand to hold it while listening. "Death?" Rantaro was getting closer. "Everybody who died in the Killing Game. You were going through all that again?" He whispered in shock. He nodded, swallowingly loudly before speaking,  
  
"I watched their death's all over again. I saw their lifeless bodies and some... some of them very briefly came back to life to talk to me. Most of them didn't. A couple just kind of waved at me or acknowledged me before dying. I hate it. I hated every single minute of it because I couldn't do anything to save them or protect them. You... You were there too. You never woke up and I felt so... ah..." Shuichi mumbled as he covered his face in hopes to stop his goddamn tears once more but before Rantaro could comfort him, he continued to speak, "I was so angry that you were dead. I was angry because we promised that once we got out of there we would find your sisters." A pause, "I don't want to remember it anymore. It hurts. It hurts so much and I just don't even understand why a game like this even exists? How are they allowed to get away with it when all they do is cause psychological damage?!" Rantaro shushed him and pulled him into a tight hug, burying his face into the dark blue hair and petting it gently while the detective breathed heavily, trying to ease his anxiety and fears because not only did the dreams disturb him but this was also the first time he's ever told the adventurer all of this despite the numerous nights where he was woken up by him and ending his dreams.  
  
"Do you want to call them or text them?" The adventurer asked suddenly. The detective was silent for a while before mumbling quietly,  
  
"Later. I just... will you stay with me?" He asked shyly. Rantaro hummed in reassurance as he kissed his forehead and rubbed his arm in a comforting manner.   
  
"Is there time when you don't get these nightmares? Maybe if we figure that out, then you can sleep better." He asked as placed his hand in his hair and made Shuichi's hair twirl around his finger before pulling away and repeating it again. Shuichi was quiet for a long time before wrapping an arm around the adventurer,  
  
"When I fall asleep with you." He admitted and was grateful that he was hiding his face in the green haired one's chest. It was true that the days where they were both too tired to go to their respective beds or simply just happen to fall asleep on the same bed because they were hanging out with each other, Shuichi didn't suffer from those nightmares. Sometime he would have dreams but other times he wouldn't, it would just be a peaceful void that allowed him to sleep peacefully without having to worry about anything anymore. 

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? All this time you could have been able to sleep." Rantaro sounded upset. Shuichi blinked in surprise as he pulled away to meet a frowning face and was surprised when his hair was pushed from his eyes. "I'm sorry that you suffered from these nightmares for so long but seriously, you gotta tell me these things otherwise I can't help." This time Rantaro seemed a little nervous before leaning down to place a gentle kiss on Shuichi's lips. The detective was quick to melt into that kiss as the adventurer's lips were so soft and delicate, tasting like vanilla and earl grey tea that he had from earlier today. What seemed like forever was more than likely a minute as they pulled away from each other, out of breath as they pressed their foreheads together. "Next time when something is bothering you, tell me sooner okay? I... I want to be able to take care of you Shuichi, but you have to let me in first." The detective smiled softly before murmuring,  
  
"A-Alright... I'm sorry." He whispered. Rantaro hummed again but with a smile before pulling Shuichi close to him. He couldn't help but laugh as he found comfort in wrapping his arms around his - well boyfriend now he assumed- back and burying his face into his chest, closely listening to the heartbeat that reminded him every minute that Rantaro was alive and that every one else was alive too. And for that, Shuichi found comfort in it as he slowly fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> If you managed to read all the way to the end, then I'm impressed. Have a cookie.
> 
> If your brain broke while reading this, then I apologize because my brain did too.
> 
> Now read some other stuff that is less confusing and more happy <3


End file.
